Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I see Cupcakes dancing in my head...

Cupcakes, cupcakes EVERYWHERE! I just got a recipe from a friend who wants me to make him Guiness BEER cupcakes. And Skipperdee just sent me a link for a restaurant here in NYC that makes Macha Green Tea cupcakes (restaurant name: BarFry).
In college my specialty was massages--apparently I gave great back massages. That was almost 10 (did I say TEN?) years ago. My new specialty is cupcakes. And, the funny part is, I only JUST learned how to make a cupcake from scratch (Vegan at that). My cupcakes are always (except for the Vegan variety) of the boxed kind. I just like to experiment with flavorings. I made a mint chocolate chip cupcake for my Dear Sweet. First time--peppermint extract, second time--pure mint extract. I think the pure mint was a better fit to the chocolate chip. Peppermint would be good for a Christmasy themed cupcake. But now I want to experiment with making cupcakes from scratch. But that takes time and patience--both of which I have none. I'll load up some pics of my cupcakes the next time I make them.
(I'm going to attempt some form of a S'mores cupcake--chocolate cupcake, fluff frosting, graham cracker topping)???

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Rock, paper, scissors...all shatter like glass...

No relationship is safe from crashing and burning up in flames. Friendships, supposedly rock solid, crumble like plaster. Hot romances fizzle like flat soda. Family take each other for granted and create everlasting wounds. No relationship is protected. There is no rock solid. Rock breaks scissors. Scissors cut paper. Paper covers rock.More like hammer shatters rock. "We are invincible" Pat Benatar once sang.Not when emotions are involved. Ego. Misunderstandings. Alcohol. Mental breakdowns.Everything happens for a reason. Tests of strength. I'm weak. Okay? Strength tested, and I failed. Are we done now?

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Where have I been?

It has been more than ONE YEAR since I last posted. Where have I been, you ask? I've been on an emotional roller-coaster, and have finally settled nicely with a new therapist and (hopefully) a new look on my life. I won't post anymore today (hehehe, you people are thinking--this woman will not post anything for another year), but I'm at work, and want to have some time to write about what's been going on...but I promise...(to myself) That I will post more often. Writing is my catharsis...and I need to have more peace in my life. ;D

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I'm hungwy...

Why am I always so freakin' hungry??? I drink water and green tea like it's my job...I'm trying to eat like 5 times a day and more protein and less carbs & fat...but I am still ALWAYS hungry...And I never know what I want to eat. Like I could probably go for some Buffalo wings or a nice juicy cheeseburger...but Buffalo wings are fried, and I've eaten way too much beef on this birthday week of mine...

Yes, that's right I am now officially 26. Feel like I'm 36. Skipperdee feels like she's 6, and Moo feels like she's 56. We make a good blend of friends don't we?

I got a free tarot card reading yesterday for my birthday from www.tarot.com. MY "subject" was my future...

Self: The Star
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING You are coming to understand who you truly are.The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now. The Star suggests that you are receiving information from your higher self about the reason you incarnated this lifetime. This is a profound experience. As we touch our greater self, the eternal aspect, our personal lives come into perspective. The feeling of being a stranger in a strange land vanishes. Great joy is inherent in this card's placement. You are consciously on the way home in a spiritual sense, no longer flailing in the dark.

Situation: Knight of Wands
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Support a renewed sense of adventure that moves toward a vision, even in the face of more realistic viewpoints about the probable outcome.The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time. When the Knight of Wands (in some decks, a Prince) is in this position, someone in your environment may be venturing into their dream. The situation may feel both poignant and bittersweet to you. You realize how joyful and important an occasion it is. Still, you see how likely it is that the shiny new armor will soon be dented, the husky horse become tired, and the enthusiasm of new adventures tempered by a few difficult trials. Virginal innocence has not yet met an adversary and that's a beautiful thing. It deserves to be celebrated and supported no matter how more seasoned eyes envision the eventual outcome.

Challenges/ Opportunities: Queen of Swords
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Champion your own needs; put some distance between yourself and those who would hamper your progress.The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones. With the Queen of Swords in this position, improve your ability to balance your needs against the pressures of other people's expectations. To turn this challenge into an opportunity, develop some enthusiasm for spending more time with yourself, making the pivotal decisions in your own life, and living directly with the consequences of your choices. Become your own best advocate. To help you accomplish this goal, shorten the list of people and circumstances that have the power to distract you or divert your energy. Define your boundaries. State your goals. Start acting on your own behalf.

Foundation: Nine of Cups
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Knowing that the world is benevolent towards you provides a feeling of optimism and security.The card in the Foundation position points to influences from your personal history, your roots and background. The Nine of Cups in this position suggests that you have learned to embrace the point of view that we live in an abundant universe. This somewhat rare foundation is a priceless resource, a gift from your elders, as it were. It could also be the result of appropriate choices you've made, ones that truly supported you emotionally and psychically. Real feelings of security do not depend on outer circumstances. They come from your heart's realization that you are loved, wanted and taken care of. The world itself is positively disposed towards you and supports your success. These qualities and gifts provide a solid foundation to your personality that a lot of people simply don't have.

Recent Past: King of Cups
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Let your longing for peace draw you into a search for deeper meaning.The card in the Recent Past position refers to events that are just departing, recently influential but now diminishing in power. The King of Cups in this position indicates that you have crossed paths with and been touched by a mentor well versed in the art of living. That person's energy field taught you, perhaps without words, to perceive and develop intuition and generosity. You have had an inspiring model of emotional stability you can now begin to reproduce in your own life. Don't let this memory slip away without contemplating and replaying it over and over again. Cultivate a desire for that state of being and surrender to it, so that you will be moved to make yourself and the world better.

Higher Power: Three of Swords
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Be fully aware of personal boundaries and concentrate on your own objectives.The card in the Higher Power position reflects the broader perspective and influence of your conscience, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom. When the Three of Swords lands in this position, you are being asked to discriminate between what is yours and what belongs to others. What feelings, values, beliefs and emotional patterns are yours to work on? The lesson here is to respect your own boundaries and not invade others' space. Learn to keep your energy clear; and speak your truth without condemning or judging. Resist thinking that you know better about anyone else's situation. Become more self-sufficient. As you become your own best teammate, focus your brilliance on your own mission. Concentrate on the things that are your business and your assignment, accept less interference from others, and do less interfering.

Near Future: Wheel of Fortune
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Change is inevitable, but you don't yet know what form it will take. Take stock of the few things that really matter and focus on stabilizing that.The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies. With the Wheel of Fortune in this position, new information or a new development will enter the scene and change the odds. Maybe an oracle could predict the outcome, but all you might feel at the moment is the hair rising on the back of your neck, or a sense that the surface calm masks some deep and permanent change. When you get that feeling, pull yourself in toward the hub of the wheel, the center of your being. Study the situation and use practical knowledge from past experience to help you understand what these circumstances portend. Once you have searched your memory banks, if there is a basis for hope, you will recall it. If there is a basis for concern, you will recognize what you are dealing with and prepare for it.

Blocks & Inhibitions: Ace of Wands
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Use your imagination and the power of desire to rouse you to create change.The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck -- unless you examine yourself and make some corrections. When the Ace of Wands falls in this position, there is a dangerous habit of deferring your self-will to the stronger will of others. As a result you lose track of what your own real purpose is. Use your imagination to create a dream scenario and feel it passionately. If this is difficult for you, it's because you have been neglecting this exercise too long. Without the ability to fully define and feel your own personal desires, you won't be fired up enough to achieve them. Get animated so you can create change.

Allies: Page of Coins
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Explore the wisdom of tradition and learn from the masters in your area of concern.The card in the Allies position points to people who can be supportive or helpful to you at this time. In this position, the Page of Coins (in some decks, a Princess) suggests that when the student is ready, the master appears. Perhaps in your case the teacher appears in the form of a book or a manuscript that is centuries old. A living role model is not absolutely necessary, but we need to perceive and utilize the traditions and founding fathers of our craft as allies, a support structure for our development. Study your masters, be a good student, and take refuge in traditional wisdom.

Advice: Four of Cups
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING Change the circumstances that have brought you to a standstill. Rouse yourself from the doldrums.The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible. The Four of Cups in this position wants you to take a clear look at how stalled or distracted you have become. You may have been bogged down in negativity, hopelessness or a sense of limitation. It is not to your advantage, however, to see the world through such a narrow lens. Cut through some of the forces that undermine you, causing you to feel incapable. Sometimes you have to define what you are "for" by defining what you are "against." Decide that you are not leaden as is the cup of earth, not placid as is the cup of water, not turbulent as is the cup of air. Rather, now may be the time to be as aroused as the cup of fire. Getting fired up can be your ticket to liberation from the doldrums.

Long-term Potential: Death
POSITIONAL (MAIN) MEANING You are not tempted to return to the patterns of the past; you are truly prepared to move on.The card in the Long-term Potential position points to unknowns still taking shape. It is the "wild card" yet to be played. The Death card in this position points to the potential of severing a long-standing attachment that has repeatedly held you back, even when you swore you were truly done with it. At this point your confidence is focused enough so that you are no longer willing to repeat the old patterns. Now you know you can cut the cords and free yourself. Mixed with a natural trepidation, there is tremendous feeling of optimism. You are on the verge of experiencing and accomplishing great things. As the glimmer of the future grows brighter, and you are willing to leave the past behind to pursue that light. You will feel much better when you finally cut the ties that bind.

Finally ordered from Zen Palate...couldn't think of anything else that was healthy and that I was craving...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

OCD and Me

Okay...I'm back...back from the depths of complete and utter OCD hell that was my wedding. Yes, I know, I've been back for about two months. What's your point? Being a working wife, sister, friend, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, self...is quite time-consuming.

I'll update you on my wedding. to my dear sweet. It was fantabulous. We had such a fantastic time! It almost erased all the hell I went through prior to the day (or prior to each event, I should say, as, although each event was wonderful...beforehand was stress city). Yes, I am Indian--this is why we have more than one occasion. In fact we had five days of fun-filled activities! Dear sweet partied like it was 1999! (We weren't together in 1999--so I'm guessing this is how he partied back then). And all of our friends, including Moo and Skipperdee, were there to join in the rollicking good fun.

I can't express how it felt to have pretty much all my favorite people all in one place to help Dear Sweet and I celebrate (and some people who r not my favorite...but we've blocked them out from memory). Moo, Skipperdee, Bear...and all my cousins and Dear Sweet's family and friends. Thank u for making my wedding week filled with so much love and excitement and fun! I love u all.

Okay...gotta bust out now if I need to get out of work early...I'm going to try and write more (hehehehe...see u in two months)....maybe I'll post some pics too...we'll see!

Friday, November 04, 2005

Update

I know, I know. I'm a bad blogger. I don't write for months, then type up a full 10 page report to make up for it. It's just been a looooooong, insane couple of months. But I know--it's no excuse.

So let me catch you up on the last 5 months. KBOAM got married. It was quite hectic there right before...but it was a beautiful wedding and we had tons o' fun. The whole summer was spent working on my wedding to my dear sweet, and running around stretching ourselves crazy to keep our families (and their stupid friends) happy. Then it was off to Vegas for work, and back home again. One week later I left for another trip (this time for a month and a half) to work on my wedding plans/clothes and get some work done as well). Just got back a few weeks ago. And still not feeling settled. I've started working with a trainer (cuz I worked off only a minor 8 pounds during the summer...but couldnt quite get the rest off). I hurt...a lot. Can't even sit down properly. it sucks.

Monday, June 06, 2005

The stretchmark on my blank existence

Oh wow--I had so much to say just now, and went completely blank as I was waiting for the page to load up (5 seconds).

How sad is that? I started this blog on June 6th. It's now June 23rd. And I've gone blank...again.

I had a lot to say a few minutes ago...hold on, gimme a few seconds...........................

Well I went to the doctor today, for an annual physical. She told me I was at a perfect weight for my height (which she told me was 5'4 1/2"--the first time nay doctor since I turned 18 has told me that my actual height is 5'4 1/2"--which is how tall I am. All my other doctors have told me I'm 5'3". This never made any sense because my Mom is 5'3", and I'm definitely taller then her.) My Dad said--"Well, your doctor is not your Mom." (so true). I did lose two more pounds in the last two weeks. But, alas, my Mom won't care until she sees a difference.

Anyway...all this, and I found a tiny pink beginning of a stretchmark on one of my lovehandles. Fabulous.

And the doctor said no breakfast before our appointment this morning. My appointment was at 11am. It is now 1:45pm. I still haven't eaten. I'm waiting for my Dad to get off the phone to figure out what he wants to eat. (sigh). And I don't want to be rude.

I've become one of those people who checks her email (outlook / incredimail) every two seconds...whether it shows there's a message or not. It's some deep rooted need to feel important or wanted or something. I don't know.

Wanna hear something weird? Well if you don't want to know, don't read the next few lines.
My best friend, KBOAM, is getting married in a few weeks. We're throwing her bachelorette party this weekend. So I thought it would be fun to get some funny and raunchy goodie bags for all the guests. I found a few things in a store near my work, but thought I'd have better luck at this newly advertised "adult store" somewhere near my house. But I cannot find this store online anywhere! Not google or citysearch or any other website! All I need are the directions. But there's no online existence of it anywhere. Like a phantom or something.

(Sigh)...